How to Avoid Emotional Eating (Quarantine Edition)
March, 2020. We are all living a new, altered reality: social distancing means most of us are working and spending most of our days at home, indoors, somewhat un-anchored.
To be honest, I feel fortunate that being thrown into this current self-isolation situation has not altered my day to day life too much. Of course I miss working out and running with friends in person, and seeing clients face to face on a daily basis; however I have been working on my own for so long that many of these work from home habits are now routine to me. My standard protocols such as setting a daily schedule for waking up, work times, exercise and meal times, etc., have been helping me stay productive and feeling grounded during a time of great uncertainty for many.
Although I have found that being a fitness business owner for the past 8 years has prepared me for most of the new realities of working in isolation, being at home for all or most of the day has brought up some issues surrounding my relationship with food. I am often candid with my clients about this topic (when appropriate), however I have never publicly shared my personal experience with disordered eating. I do have a long history of emotional and physical unwellness due to eating disorders.
At various points in my life I have been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, orthorexia, binge eating disorder and exercise bulimia. Yikes. I feel vulnerable disclosing that information, however I hope that through my sharing with you the insight I have gained from dealing with those complex issues that you may possibly benefit from what I have learned*. Lately, finding myself at home all day- although busy with work- I quickly fell into old patterns of eating out of boredom, eating as an activity. As had happened in the past, I would reach for a soothing food, or a treat I considered “fun” (a bar of chocolate, or a bag of cookies) as something to pass the time or simply because I wanted to eat the food item and I knew that it was there, close at hand. Those residual feelings of shame, self-loathing, stress, and anxiety surrounding eating have resurfaced in these days spent with 24/7 immediate access to food. A familiar voice inside my head- the internal dialog we have between ourselves and our internal moderator- chimed in telling me, “Ok you can have one or two bites, but don’t eat too much,” or “Well, now you’ll have to do three workouts because of what you ate.” Then, after I inevitably ate too much- because in the end I would always appraise that whatever amount I had consumed was “too much,” or that I somehow hadn’t “earned” that food- I wouldn’t end up allowing myself to enjoy what I had eaten anyway. I know I am not the only one who occasionally battles this kind of negative thought process, and oftentimes the approach I take in my professional work with others are habits that I practice in my daily life.
I coach clients on intuitive eating, which is a way of re-framing how we think about the food choices we make on a daily basis. Intuitive eating teaches practitioners to think of their choices surrounding food not in moral terms of “good” or “bad,” but rather to make decisions based upon intuiting (or sensing) what your body is asking for in that moment. To learn more about eating mindfully, read on here. Eating intuitively means being in tune with your body’s physical, emotional, and mental needs. Intuitive eating teaches us that if we want to enjoy a cookie we should enjoy a cookie- but to do it mindfully, with the intention that we are eating to savor. If it is truly our intention to eat a desired food, we ought to reach for that food fully intent on enjoying it and relishing those moments with full awareness- which, in turn, boosts our enjoyment of said food. In fact, when learning how to eat intuitively we often find that when we give ourselves permission to eat whatever we want, we begin to find that we don’t truly crave those sugary sweets or salty snacks that we thought we had been, and we begin to be better able to give our body what it actually needs to feel nourished. (Keep in mind that “intuitive eating” is a program that should be studied and put into practice thoughtfully and over time; for more information about intuitive eating I recommend the book Intuitive Eating, by Dr. Evelyne Tribole and Dr. Elyse Resch.)
So what can you do today if you are feeling stuck in a cycle of stress or boredom eating, and its consequent negative self-talk and guilt? Starting right now, you can practice giving yourself permission- but more importantly, giving yourself the trust- to just eat the thing you want to eat, because you want to eat it. No more trying to make yourself stick to someone else’s arbitrary food standards (who decides that this food is “good,” or that food is “bad?” Who is the judge of that?), or justifying why “it’s ok” to eat something- you are in control of your behaviors, and sometimes those behaviors might include eating a few cookies. That is just fine.
Starting today, you can begin building a trust within yourself that if you made the decision to consume something, you were doing it in your best interest- so of course “it’s ok!” Let’s learn to get to a place where we feel safe with allowing ourselves to make those decisions, knowing that we are always making the decisions we feel are right for ourselves. That part requires a bit of education to know what qualifies as a nutrient dense food, or the difference between a health food product and false advertising, for instance- but it can be learned! And you, your health, and your life are worth the investment to educate yourself. Let’s accept the responsibility of our own health and become more educated consumers so that we can enjoy our favorite foods without guilt, fear, doubt, or shame.
Want to learn more about creating healthier ways of living that are meaningful for you? Get in touch! Email info@totalfitsd.com and let’s set up your free health consultation so you can tell me more about your unique needs and goals!
About the author:
As an independent health and fitness coach, Vera has worked with over 200 individuals and several corporations to implement strategies to create sustainable health-positive behavior modifications. Through earning a Master of Public Health degree and becoming a Certified Health Education Specialist (CHES®), Vera is uniquely prepared to help clients work towards their health goals.
Vera educates clients on all aspects of creating and maintaining healthy lifestyle behavior modifications. As a qualified and experienced health coach Vera is an effective agent of change, helping clients to create sustainable, lasting lifestyle modifications.
*Of course, if you are dealing with any of these thoughts or feelings yourself you should absolutely seek out a qualified health professional; this post is not meant to offer treatment advice, rather this is one anecdotal account of having gone through treatment for such health issues.